Life is HERE

Life is here

In this strange world

Life is all the way

Around the curve of heartbeats

Life is within you

When you can sense love

Life is looking for you

In the sight of dust

Life will find you

Between the darkness

Life will snatch from you

Your only happiness

Life will give you

Your only happiness

Life is trust

Trust life

L.C.

Listen closely

Looking at the world so close. It is difficult to move forward into the certainty of unknown. This is how the world eats you up. Like a monster with a huge appetite. I see the clouds so unclear, vague. That I doubt at the reality of the world. This world is my image. What I want to see now, what I want to feel now, surrounds me like an invisible cloak. I look beyond my shoulder. I search for the souls standing beside me. How lonely the world becomes! How strange the environment becomes. You forget yourself and try to imitate the ones you don’t know completely. The heart of ours is pure. Don’t let your soul die. Don’t let your heart conquered by sin. I hold up to the sky. The invincible sky. The fate of mercy. I hope the mercy is looking at me. With a look of a monster. Is it a monster? Or is it me? Let me live. Let me stay pure. Let me be at peace. This is what mother earth says to all the mankind. This is what God wants from the mankind. Peace and love. Don’t ignore it. Don’t destroy it. Think about it.

L.C.

 

Life is not a Playground

When we were born, everything was so easy. Just play around, be in your own world and love what is around you. When we grew up, we started knowing the reality of our surroundings. Well, at least what we think was reality! We came to the conclusion that life is difficult, and we started missing our childhood because then we didn’t understand the cruelty of the world and we were happy, no matter in what conditions we were born in.

I wish life was a playground. You just had to chit-chat a little with other children, and they would have been your best friends for life. No lies. No betrayal. No backstabbing. No – a lots of things.

Life is difficult. Isn’t it? You won’t know what lies ahead of you. You are happy now, and a moment later, your life will be ruined. You are laughing now, and a moment later, you will be numb out of your pain.

I wish life were a little bit easy. Not very much, as that would snatch the feeling of invaluable jubilancy. But just a little bit. Where I could know where my happiness lies. Where I could pursue my happiness. Where I could keep my happiness. Where my happiness would have no outsiders. No sins. Just angels of Gods.

Still this is life. Isn’t it? However difficult it might be. However strong it might want us to be. This is what we have to stay happy with. This is what we have to mark our name to.

L.C.

Have You Ever Wondered?

Have you ever wondered?

That life goes on

When we are crushed

The life, still, goes on

 

Have you ever wondered?

When little here

Goes little there

Without any destination

 

Have you ever wondered?

How life demands spontaneity

When we are the reckless ones

Demanding spontaneity from life

 

Have you ever wondered?

The purpose of life

The reason of souls

Our reason to live

 

Have you ever wondered?

Why is it so tough?

Why is it so easy?

Why is it heartbreaking?

 

Have you ever wondered?

The strength of tears.

The layers of happiness.

The smell of roses.

Still here we are.

Wondering the wonder.

Wonders of life.

Wonders of death.

 

L.C.

Yup! It’s possible

Down the road. We see people smiling. Holding their loved ones in their armor of warmness. We see their happiness. Not their sufferings. Not their sacrifices. They deserve those smiles. They pursue those smiles.

While, in the depth of our beating pump. We see our reflection through the darkness. We see ourselves with all the unfortunate things. Without even knowing the reason behind other’s smiles. Without knowing that they have lost their dear ones and they are peaceful with their present happy lives. Without empathizing the pain pinching inside each one of the happy faces when they look at something reminding them of their bitter past. Trust me, you are much luckier than they would have been. You have more than many of them. You have your confidence to let your life going on. You have your volition to make a reason out of your lives.

It is easy to survive. It is not easy to live. Still, there will be a question for you. Do you want your life to be easy? Or will you just get bored of your smooth life?

Well, that is a whole new moot point. Here, I would like to advice the helpless people, or I could say that, the people who think they are helpless. Make your life easy through your own hands.

Is that possible? Oh yeah, it definitely is. Not under certain circumstances. But life isn’t that difficult that you assume it to be. If you just learn to live. You will find your path in every maze, in every labyrinth of your strangled life. Let’s make our lives easy. Let’s live.

How to make it easy? I ask you this one. Enter the deepest corner of your hearts. Try resolving your problems with the solutions in which your heart and mind, both will agree. Then tell me how would you do it.

L.C.

 

What you Choose, is What Makes YOU!

I was crossing a narrow road on my two wheeler. I stopped for a moment before the cross, as there were pups coming in my way. I loved them with my eyes and went past them without touching them, which took a little longer than just a moment. When I was on the verge of reaching two narrow roads giving way to each other; when I was just reaching the cross, a car went at a pace of welcoming-evil, and I was saved by just a moment. What made that happen? My fate and my choice.

Life is based on the choices we make, no matter how minute the decisions are. It might be intentional or unintentional. It might be conscious or unconscious. It still, will be ours. It still, will define us. It still, will frame our future.

These choices are not the backbone of our lives, but they impose the ripple effect to everything attached to us by an invisible string of souls. We are living at a place where there are not one, not two, but uncountable number of species and breeds and hearts and emotions has occupied its place. We have become so reckless in our doings, we might not ever think on the effect we impose to our mother Earth. We have become so selfish. Can we redo that? It is in our hands, and no other hands to change the world, or at least change yourselves, and it will automatically, like air everywhere, ripple its way through all the world, slowly, but it will.

Make your life worth living, for yourself to be proud of you. For nature to write your works in its future. Don’t become so much rapt in aiming for your name to be written in history, invest yourselves for the future, which is going to matter the most.

Choose wisely, and choose heartily.

L.C.

ChAnGe : Inevitable

Why are relationships so difficult? You try to glue it, like some glutinous vase. But you always find it breaking into more pieces every day. You try to endure with you pain in the heart. And you always end up feeling more pain than the original vain.

It is so sensitive. Living in a relationship. Trying to move on with everything that you have experienced. The bitter past. Floating above the sweet memories. Letting the memories drown in them. Is there any way to be happy from inside? Without lying to yourself what you are feeling?

Relationship is a mystery. It is sweet in the beginning. Then afterwards, it is out of my understanding to why the same people who loved your qualities, see those qualities as your disqualifies?

If they really had the problem, why did they change the problem afterwards?

People say, “You have changed”. The circumstances have changed. Not the person. The situations have made the person react in some other way. How can one know if the other has changed if the first person doesn’t even know who he himself is?

Change is inevitable. Change can come in any form. The inner person stays the same. But does the one has the heart of having purity of looking the other person with inner eyes of sensitivity? Or understanding? Or unselfishness? Or maturity? Or companionship? Or keeping-your-promises?

In the end all that matters is what you think of yourself. All that matters is did you do the right thing for yourself? Did you end up alone, but better than being in a relationship?

Let’s make a pact today. To become independent. To become so strong that nobody would dare to break us. To believe in ourselves the most. To know who we are, instead of looking forward to someone else’s compliments.

Let’s take a step forward. To the pursuit of happiness. To our inner self. Rethink the past, and accept it or forget it. But just feel good.

L.C.

Searching SOUL

I knew where I was. I knew what I was. I wanted to fly from the cliff. I ended up falling into an abyss. I wanted the feeling of happiness. I ended up feeling desolated. I wish I could have it all. I forgot that no one can have it all.

I am the heaven. I am the hell. I am triumphant. I am failure. I am everything.

Lies within me is me. Lies above me is me. My eyes are closed, while my eyes are open. My ears are blocked, while the sound is present.

Who am I anymore? I am searching for the person. The person who lies within me like a host, but it is not me. Where am I? I can’t recognize. My fate is blurred. The truth has become pale. The lies are on the verge of its success.

Save me or I will fall. Fall into the abyss again. Will never be able to climb up again.

Hold me or I will fall apart. Like leaves in Autumn, searching for its own place.

Heed me as a child. Because I am no more an adult. I am a Searching Soul.

 

Look at me with desire. Desire of a needed person. Want me as an Aspire. An aspiration of the searched souls.

I want this. I want that. What do I want? Tell me or I will crave for everything. Tell me or I will die for everything.

This is the world of innocence. This is the world of conspiracy. We have it all here, and none here.

I am looking for someone. The one who could find me in me.

Help me. Help the Searching Soul.

 

Look at me. I am standing right here. With a ghost beside me. Surrounded by the illusion of a fake world. The illusion that could eat me up into pieces.

I am right here. Waiting for you. Waiting the one and my only soul. Where are you? Are you there, or are you gone?

Answer me. I am waiting for you.

Let me hold you close. Let me hold you from far away.

You are my everything. You will be my everything.

Just don’t let me go away from you. Let me be your Searching Soul for lifetime; and my soul will be searched by me.

Let my soul be searched by me!

 

Here, happiness isn’t the key. Here success isn’t the key. Here, you are the key.

Let my soul be searched. Let me search my soul in yours. Let me walk on your path. Let me fall on your abyss. Let me fly in your sky. But don’t let be the Searching Soul anymore.

I want to be the Searched Soul.

Let me be the Searched Soul.

L.C.

Hollow SOUL

Humans make his habit of living a lonely life. Even he won’t be lonely, but he would be lonely inside.

This loneliness inside, tends to bring forward the tendency of humans, the will to see his own reflection in someone else’s attributes.

“We both are so much alike!”

We fall in love with someone alike so easily, trying to find ourselves in that person. Trying to find a person that would understand you and trust you blindly.

Hoping that the person will understand you by only looking into the depth of your lovable eyes.

We forget this thing, that love is inside us, we have to find love in our hearts and not in someone else’s heart, and if we achieve success in doing that, we will have all the love in the world waiting for our arrival.

We see our own reflection in other person’s eyes. The question is, is the other person really like us? Is the other person wants the same from us, which we want from him? Can’t we be the first one to understand the other person, rather than waiting for some person to understand us?

Searching for love becomes our life that we even forget to look beyond our needs and longings. We get wrapped up into it so much that we even forget to look inside us. We try to look at others’ inside with our own reflection.

Don’t crave for love, it is with you, inside you. Love has its own way of finding the lovable ones. It can come in any form. Accept it the way it is. Because, not everything is your reflection.

L.C.

Live the Present

 

Today is all you have got. Live the present, as today is a gift wrapped for you with the own nurturing hands of God. What you see now might be the consequence of your past, but what is now can’t be snatched from you.

Today is made for you. Today is designed for you. Today is waiting for you.

You would have heard the quote, “Past doesn’t repeat itself, future can’t be known, so always live in the present”

But have you ever questioned yourself, “Have I lived the day?”

“Am I living in the present, or am I living the present?”

I say, “Live the Present”, and you will automatically start living in the present.

L.C.

TRuTH

A sense of presence never dies. It is here within our soul. Talking to us. Telling us the right path. But are we listening to it? Are we following our conscience? Or are we trained so much from the beginning that we doesn’t even know our real self?

We do what we were trained to do from our childhood. We were taught in our school to do the right thing. We were taught by our parents about the moral of living. We were nourished by our education about the world that we are living in. We were told everything and now… we don’t even bother to discover the truth by ourselves.

Let your knowledge eat some shit for some time, and then let yourself live in the world where you don’t know anything and you were born to discover your truth. The truth of living and the truth of the relationship between the soul and the heart.

Live your dreams man! You are not born as a human every day, and you definitely don’t fly everyday into the world of unknown.

L.C.

Ignorance

You see what you want to see!

There is a place in your mind where you know the truth of everything and you understand the regions of your lives where you have been heart broken. Still, you filter your mind by ignoring the facts that might hurt you in some way. You wish to see only those things that you want to see. Whether it be happy things or sad things.

Ignorance can be your strength but it is a weakness for your perception of living in your own little world. To let go of your ignorance, you need to look to the world with a broad serene mentality. Look the world as a place where you are meant to be. Look the world as your aspirational journey of ups and downs, because this is meant to be!

Ignoring is a habit of living narrowly in the world full of different perceptions. Look beyond your own understanding, and you will slowly start looking closer to the real problems unfolding themselves in front of you.

Live beyond.

L.C.

Yup! This is LiFe!!

Life?? Emotions, feelings, pessimism, optimism, happiness, sadness, relations, desolation, triumph, pursuit, heart and soul. All are part of us. What if you numb yourself? What if you won’t feel anything? That would be good no? At least for a while. Just to be a zombie. Just do what you want to do. No outsiders to affect you. No reason to find for living, in this uncertain world.

I read a tagline of a company, ‘Experience Certainty’. I feel that ironical. How can you experience certainty in this uncertain world? You don’t know what tomorrow will bring to you. You have no idea what God will give you the next second; and still you want to experience certainty! Strange world!

This is living. When you let go of your emotions, but when you look inside your heart, you find so much hollowness, so much greediness! Your heart is greedy. Greedy for love, for attention, for care, and you would only know what else! Find yourself in yourself, and you will find reasons to live happily. You will know what you want from this world. And once you get aware of that, you will have that, no matter where life will take you!

Always remember my philosophy, “Your choices make you, and not your fate! Fate only gives you diverse opportunities, but it is only you who is responsible for becoming the person you are or what you will be!”

L.C.

Are you MoOdY??

If you will search for the definition of being moody, you will have the similar result as ‘subject to sharply varying moods’.

What they won’t tell is what it actually is! Every person in this world has gone through hard times. It might be their childhood, their family, their love relationships, or their career. There can be n number of possibilities of hard times. But if you are moody then it could be from your childhood experiences.

Being moody tells a lot about your emotional stability. If you are very moody, you are emotionally very unstable. You won’t know this thing, but your subconscious mind does know that. And if your subconscious mind is telling something to you, it can’t be wrong about you.

You need to first accept this thing, that you are emotionally unstable, from your heart. Then you can slowly overcome this weakness. How can you overcome it? That is on how you see world!

Childhood is the part of one’s life which you might not remember anything, but your heart has felt and healed scratches from it. It becomes something different, something more insecure and more afraid.

Try to know your heart more, instead of looking into someone else’s life. It is you who you has to live with all your life, and it is you who has to stand up again and again after falling repeatedly.

Love your life the way it is. Love yourself the way you are. And never stop improving the inner you.

L.C.

TrUsT

TRUST IS A HEAVY WORD. Can you trust someone so easily that you can share even your deepest secret to that person? Can you believe in someone so much that you believe in his every movement and word?

Is trust even possible in this malicious world? How can you trust anyone again if someone has broken your trust before? How can you believe someone again if someone has broken each and every one of his promises?

Others say that you need to be open to live the world, you need to trust people and move on. How can you forget your past so easily? How can you move on completely after the sourest of your experiences?

Sharing makes your heart lighter. But how can you know that the next person will not break your heart again? How can you know that you will be able to bear another heart break?

There are enough heart breaks happening around the world already. I wish people say what they are. I hope that people behave what they are. I hope our insecure heart becomes open to the honest world. I hope people get out of their virtual shell and live an honest life.

L.C.

I am a Writer

A random word

In my mind

Crying to express

Its divine pride

I am the one

Who makes them ride

Around the world

With its own tide

L.C.

Getaway

A way to get out of this mayhem. A way to run away from the past. Isn’t there any way to leave the present and just go away to the new beginning?

I am beginning to feel gloomy, of the cruelty of the world living around me. Beginning to feel disgust, of the way the people crust. Isn’t there any place that is honest to everybody?

If you have read ‘The Host’ by Stephanie Meyer, you would understand how beautiful a place might become if there would be no greediness over money, no lying over petty things, no backstabbing, no playing with hearts, no violence over land, no dying from hunger, no selfish people and no human beings.

‘A little longer here

A little longer there

Just a step away

Found a Getaway’

 

You know what is a Getaway? It is peace of mind. A peace of mind that is difficult to find, but lies within you. A thing that makes you wonder, but keeps you calm and alive.

Let it go! Let your heart find its way! Let the getaway come to you and keeps your heat beating with an immense love! Let the inspiration rapt you in a world of unknown and take you far away to yourself.

Love it, Live it.

L.C.

Blind Light

Her warmth, her care, her fervor, her love, her feel, her nurture, I fell in love with her in her womb only. My mother is my one and only world. I don’t know what is outside this shell, but whatever it is, I know my mother will be there to take care of me. She still sings to me, I can hear her melodious voice. I am covered by some liquid and I love the warmth of her armor. I will always love my mother, no matter what happens!

I have been born in this dark place. I know who she is. I feel protected whenever she takes me in her arms and makes me sleep by her sweet lullaby. As I am growing, my desire to see her glowing face burns up more intensely. I don’t know why I can’t see the face of my own mother. I can’t see anything but darkness. I hear my mother talking to me, consoling me about never leaving me alone. I don’t want her to leave me alone. I always want to hold her index finger for support. Always want her to show me my path.

After 7 years, I understand the meaning of blindness. I more than understand the meaning of being blind, because I feel it. I have been schooling from a school made for special children. I know how to feel the raised holes in the paper, known as Braille. I have learned the alphabets of English language using Braille only. My mother says I am lucky to be not able to look at the cruel things that human beings do to every living creature surviving with it. She even says to me that the wars are not a beautiful thing to victimize. But I have heard about beauty of mother Earth, the orange shade of sunset, the greenery of trees, the embrace of animals, the innocence of babies, and the eyes of my mother. I want to see it all. I want to look in the eyes of my mother and tell her that she is the best thing happened to me.

I used to ask my mother, “Ma, why did God did this to me? Why did he snatched away my eyesight?”

Every time she heard this question, she pulled me closer to her and I heard her short laugh always followed by the same answer, “Son, you know what design means?”

“No, Ma. What is it?”

“Design is the reason why I am your mother. God has designed everything in this world perfectly.”

“But I am not perfect, Ma”

“Oh Son! You are the most perfect thing to me. You want to know why God didn’t give you the power to see?”

“Yes Ma”

“He wants someone to always adore the beauty he designed with his own hands. Unlike the people who can see, who forgets to admire his beauty, he chose some people to understand his meaning of design, to feel the nature and not just look at it. He chose you son. And that’s why you are so perfect”

I always cried after listening to the loveliest answer, embraced my mother and thanked her for becoming my God.

My eyesight is numb, but my hearing sense became more intense by time. Sometimes I can hear things that my mother can’t.

“Ma, why didn’t you listen that? It was so clear to me”, I ask her when she can’t listen to the footsteps of our maid.

“Son, let me tell you another example of design.”

She pulls me in the air to make me sit on her lap and become the prince of her stories. She continues, “Son, the people who can see all, hear all and speak all lack something. Can you guess what they lack?”

I am fidgeting with her hair and analyzing her previous stories but can’t come to any conclusion, so I give up, “No Ma. Please tell me!”

I feel her cheeks spreading in a smile and her lips moving, “Son, they lack observation”. I feel her observing my perplex expression and then she replies, “Son, they can see all, but they can’t observe things the way you can. They have the eyes to see, but they don’t have the presence as you do. They can’t observe their surrounding as you can Son.”

My mother already applied for an eye donor, but since we are not recklessly wealthy, we can’t get any eye donor. Sometimes I eavesdropped my mother praying, “I wish every dying person could donate his eye for the unfortunate ones”.

I knew she was calling me the unfortunate one, but I also knew that she loves me more than anything in this world; and that is a design for me. A design of being loved, no matter how unfortunate you are.

7 more years passed, and I made my weakness, my strength. I worked on concentrating on my hearing sense every passing second of my life. I designed my strength instead of relying on my luck. I designed my own path.

I am feeling a fiction novel when I hear my mother cry. I know she is crying with mirth, so I, instead, continued my novel. “Son, I have a great news for you”

“Yes Ma, I am listening”, I am still rapt in my novel.

“We got an eye donor!”

I close my novel, search for my mother’s hand and embrace her with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks. I can at last observe with my eyes, I can at last see the design of God, and I can at last look at my mother’s eyes and tell her how much I love her. We hug each other what feels like eternity when I feel my mother crying, with sorrow.

“What is it Ma? Why are you crying?”

“Oh, these are the tears of joy son”, I know she is lying, I can sense it from her facial expressions but I don’t know why, and I prefer not to make her sadder by prodding her for the answer.

We go to the hospital for my operation. It takes me hours of unconscious patience in the operation theatre. I tell the doctor that I want to see the beautiful face of my mother as my first flamboyant design of the world. So I am going to do.

The bandage is being removed by the nurse while my mother is sitting in front of me, holding my hands as her support. I thought, now I will support her for all her life. In a matter of time, I can see her glowing face, on which black hair are falling and she is smiling looking at my hands. She is as beautiful as I imagined an angel from the sky.

“Ma I can see you. I can see everything in bright world. Look at me Ma”, I am smiling and crying and laughing and exhilarating, all at the same time, but above all, I want to embrace my mother. When I see her looking above my hands and not at my eyes, my heart stopped.

“Ma?”

Her face is still glowing with a smile, but her eyes showed everything and nothing. She is the donor.

I start crying, no more happiness by this iridescent environment. No more anxiety from the look of the nature around me. Just melancholy for my mother.

“You are the best mother anyone could ever get”, I glues to my mother and start crying. She embraces me back, but not a hint of sadness on her face. She is smiling instead. She let me see the beauty of this world, by sacrificing her power of eyesight. I am crying incessantly in her arms and she let my tears roll making me feel my eyesight blur in a matter of seconds.

“Don’t cry Son. I needed you to see the beauty of the nature around you and unlike others, always respect the design of the God. Look outside the window”

I rub my eyes, wipe my tears, walk to my right and look at the elusive divine miracle of God’s design. My mother comes behind me, keeps her waving arm on my right shoulder and asks, “Describe it Son”

“Ma, it is… it is sacred. It is heaven. It is more than what I felt and how you described it. It is more than what I have read about it. It is something that I couldn’t have ever observed if it were not given by you”, I embrace her, “I will always be there to hold your index finger Ma. I will always love you and be there for you, no matter what happens. I will admire the beauty of the design of God every single second, as you said Ma... Ma?”

“Yes Son”

“You are the best design of my life!”

L.C.

My Exemption

What if you are given to choose between staying on the Earth and going to the space? What will you choose? Will you choose leaving behind everything you ever knew and starting your life with a stark fresh start? Would you choose leaving your loved ones on the Earth, only to look at them from the space?

Only one type of person will choose this. A lonely person! A person who has nobody besides him/her. A person who has lost everything in his/her past. A person who has no reason to live on or to move on. He would be happy to have this type of opportunity in his/her path. But what about the person who is not lonely? What about the person who is left with no choice? Who has to leave mother Earth for some or the other reason and sit between the planets only to fill his heart with the memories of his past?

What will you feel if you are asked to take his place?

I will tell you how it feels. Let me start the story of my exempt.

Sitting in a deserted room. I was racing my car on my laptop, trying to win the last stage of the entire game. I have thought of giving my friends a party after winning this extraordinarily addictive game. A commotion made me halt the game and reach for the doors. There was a letter. My heart started throbbing shaking the ground under me and making me follow the instructions on the letter. I started on the streets till I reached the playground where I used to play football a year ago. It was deranged because of rain and construction. I decided to cease my heart to weaken by my emotions and did what was the right thing to do.

I reached at the end of the ground to discover my escort. It looked more like a time machine than a rocket. I sat on the chair inside the circular covering to discover my new living place. Well, it won’t be a home for me, since it would lack the embrace of love in it.

It started rotating, making me feel dizzy and taking me into the world of dreams of my past.

I woke up into the world of strange only to see that the lonely future awaits me. I was not in a circle anymore, rather I was in an oval shaped shell. I could see my bed behind my chair and a hologram of Earth on the glass of oval.

I knew this was coming, I accepted these things. I knew I would have to leave my past behind me to do what I had to do. I reached to the mirage of Earth and felt the shiny glass on my fingertips. I swiped my way to my love. To my wife. To my lovely wife. I didn’t know why I had to be so strong to do the right thing. I had been chosen to do what was needed to be done. But what about my family? What about my parent? What about all the people whom I love and who loves me back more immensely?

On one hand, I should be happy to leave behind such a cruel world. I should be happy to leave my past behind to start my new life. I knew my wife and I were not going good. I was unhappy. She was unhappy, and the fights were the only thing that kept me pinned to her.

“Go away. You can sleep with whatever guy you want to sleep with”, a hoarse voice made a mayhem in the house.

“You are saying that you don’t trust me? I sacrificed everything for you. My luxuries, my friends, my everything. And you think I am sleeping with another guy?” tears rolled down from the beautiful eyes of my wife.

This was the past. My recent past. The fight went on till the dawn became dusk and she went to live with her family. I loved her but I couldn’t trust her. Why was it so?

My family. My mother. I had only my mother to rely on. She was the reason keeping me alive. “But what now? How will she manage without me?” What would she think about her son betraying her and leaving her alone only to rot till the death in a place where there is nobody for her? “I love you mother. I love you with all my heart. I am sorry to leave you like this in the dark. I am very sorry.”

I could feel my eyesight getting blur from the wetness of my exalting emotions. As usual, I decided to numb my soul and think the right thing to do.

“Imagine you have nobody to live to in your past. Imagine you had no wife. No mother. No friends.” I paused at the thought. Friends! I had one of the most unique items as my friends. I swiped my fingers to the way on the Earth that made me peek into the world of my bastard friends.

I made my circle while I was in my school. After then, they were the best things happened to me. We were a group pf 4 and we acted like we were a crowd of 40 people. Wherever we used to visit, we had an art of making every person remember our mischiefs.

“There they are! Planning another mischief”, I gave a short laugh to find myself again in the dismal of the present.

How could you forget everything and everybody, even you had disputes with the ones you love? How would you live a lonely life just to run away from your, so called, “ruined” life?

I don’t want to live this way. Do you? Will you take my position and give me my life back?

L.C.

Love and its TyPeS

LOVE! What a sweet word to feel! What do you think love is? Well, let me guess some of your answers. For those who have had been in true love with his soul mate would say that love is pain or love is beautiful, or love confronts you with yourself.

For others, love might be of different types, like the nurturing love of a mother, or stiff love of a father, or a teasing love of a brother or a sister. For those who never had any relative beside his side, love would be his mates, or for many people it might be God. Even there are types of love for non-living things, like cars, bikes, and you just name it.

Everybody has anonymous number of love in his/her life. Every living being needs every type of love to live peacefully, to tell your heart that you are fine, because you are not completely alone. I don’t have all the loves in my life. Some loved ones stay besides you and some leaves a big deep hole in your heart. Still, you endured it. You moved on to finding another love. Whether it might be parental or soul mate or even, animal love. It might not be the same, but it definitely will be the love that will make you feel alive and will give you the reason to live.

Don’t discriminate one love from another, everyone has their own way of showing it. If someone loves you, love him back. If there’s an animal waiting for you at your home, give him all your time he need. After all, love is the reason why mother Earth is alive.

L.C.

Everything Happens for a Reason! Really?

“My girlfriend broke up with me today”. Listening to this, the friend says, “Everything happens for good”.

“My wife ran with my best friend yesterday”. The mother says, “It happened for your own good”.

How in the world would you know that the thing happened has happened for good? It might have happened for good, but you never know!

According to me, everything happens for a reason. But is that really so? What I mean to say is that could not things have happened randomly where the person was at the right place at the right time and the thing just happened randomly? And humans just invented some reason, or we can say that the person just prophesized the reason of that thing just to satisfy his own heart.

I had a discussion with my mentor about the invention of fire by some Adivasi. I mooted that he was just present with the right material and luck at the right constellation of stars. While he glued at the coincidence of the formation of the word ‘coincidence’.

According to me, there were millions of Adivasi, who could have discovered fire but they didn’t. That doesn’t mean that they were not meant to. They all were starkly capable like the one who did it. But they were just not present at the right time and chose the right morsel of things, and your choices are the only factor that can push you towards the right time awaiting you to have all the things that you dream of.

L.C.

Yellow Cap

 

A girl with a yellow cap next to me. Her charm touched me. She had nothing to do with the angels, but an angel herself. How can one not adore her! Sitting right next to me was the message of God. My eyes got stuck on her. She was as innocent as a naive baby. Her eyes with a glow negating the brute of the outside world. She was unaware of my love towards her.

Once upon a time, there lived a sadist. Her name was Trivia. Living in the woods, she was a cannibal. Hunting people and sucking their soul was her mojo. With a dream of running her own tyranny, she used to feign herself as a Queen. There was no magic laid within her, just a true genius in her mind. Using science, she used to subjugate humans. Her portions were not revealed to anybody but the above one. She was as natural as a vulture in the sky.

Yet, this is not a Witch story.

Imagine a nerd, neighboring a sadist. From his eyes, she is a beautiful butterfly looking for a nectar, and for him, he could be her nectar, a loving one.

The girl would read her books on the roof of her home, half naked and half original with her yellow cap covering her golden wavy hair. The boy would spend his time sitting on the semblance as her roof, but watching her perfect figure, wet hair falling on her eyes, her way of tugging her hair behind her ears, her perfect sitting posture, and the shiny reflection of her skin.

The boy became a lover-boy from a nerd. He started skipping his classes and used to spend most of his time scrutinizing the glowing effect of the girl’s body. His grades gradually started decreasing. But still, he continued to lose his grades for an angel made just for his needs.

He didn’t know whom to blame for the growing butterflies in his stomach, the God who created him, or that angelic figure who exposed his senses.

One another stalking day, he saw the girl peeking him from her shoulders and leaving the door ajar while entering her luxurious house. He tethered her hint and went after her inside her house. His heartbeats were growing as if she was his successful invention, and he has developed his dream project to make it ready for his embrace.

Four stairs ahead and then he was entering the matrix of his fantasy déjà vu. He has dreamed every single passing moment, since he saw that glowing girl. The door ahead him croaked by his action and slammed close behind him.

He was in the nest of the golden bird, and ready to be hatched. He saw her pink brassiere lying in front of the door, in front of him. He walked unflagging steps with his heartbeats making a mayhem in the silence of his passion.

He reached that brassiere, picked it up, smelled it and smashed open the coveted door of that room.

His heartbeats stopped from that colossal thumping in his heart. He was watching a naked angel lying on the bed with her elbow supporting her head, and her index finger of her free hand beckoning him to go and feel her.

He stood there, glued from what his eyes were bestowing, holding a pink brassiere and stepping on a pink underwear with the congenial sin.

The girl lost her patience and walked bare footedly towards him, took her brassiere from his hand and threw it away in the air behind her. That was the last image he remembered of his jubilant lair before he felt the girl’s buttery skin touching his. He ran his hands on her breasts, and he has experienced heaven before he has tasted death.

His tongue with hers, locked like they have been together for millennia. They were pulled down by the gravity at the same time they pulled towards each other shaking themselves towards and away each other.

His virginity was broken by an angel, and he was the one made for her embrace.

 

 

Now I am rapt in that angelic demon’s web. I ceased attending my classes. I became the king of intercourse, instead of a master of science. I even left my home to start living with my sinister love. Her body and she became my one and only world. I spent every moment of my last 2 months glued to her materialistic feign, and she spent her last 2 months for the preparation of my end.

She knew. The time has come. This was the right day for my end. I starkly alienated myself from the outer world. I became so much distant that even if I died, no one from the other world would ever know.

That day came. My end was in front of me. The karma of my actions could be seen.

It was just another day when I woke up. I was feeling uncomfortable on my sleeping place. I rubbed my eyes and looking forward to another love-making day, hoped to see that similar angelic figure in front of me; and I saw it but without its angelic form. Instead it was a demon, ready to put her plan in action.

I couldn’t move my hands and legs to reach her and grab her like the way I used to. I wanted to reach her breasts to feel its warmth and sponginess. I wanted to run my finger through her spinal cord and put my organ into hers, grabbing her tightly and listening to her melodic screams.

No limit of time could quench my thirst for my need of her dimensional side; and she knew I would not live without her embrace.

I craned to see my naked body lying on a metal trolley. I was in a lab. I knew all the chemicals kept in those transparent glass vessels. Arsenic, Formaldehyde, Mercury, Bisphenol A and Phthalates, Radon, Digoxin, Hydrogen Peroxide, Batrachotoxin, Tabun, Strychnine, Sodium Cyanide, Nicotine, and God knows what else!

Then I saw my love making some chemical reactions in front of me. She was wearing an off-white lab coat and I could see her golden hair waving on her back and working on some toxic reactions.

“Open me up love. What are you doing there?” I started trampling the trolley.

She turned with her naked front, an injection in her hand, started walking towards my naked body, pressed her body on mine, her soft breasts touching my chest, “shhh”, a feeling of a pin spurting into my hips, fragrance of my addiction and a total blackout.

My eyelids felt heavy. I made my way towards some light. I was lying on the same place, surrounded by the same toxic chemicals, strapped by the same dominated straps, but this time I was rickety. I could not even try to get out of those straps. I tried to shout, but my vocal chords were not by my side. I felt drowsy again and went into the deep black abyss.

I woke up again. This time on the bed. I thought about my nightmare, about that eerie chemical lab, and my love betraying me and felt drowsy again. But that would be because of over-sleeping, I thought. I collected all my energy to get up and went to start up my normal day. I picked up my toothbrush and angled my neck to that of the mirror.

The brush made a commotion in that sink but my mouth got stuck into a position with a silence of a dumb. I was bald, and my face showed wrinkles and dark circles and freckles and it showed blood red scars on my lips. What the hell has happened to me?

I tried to shout, call my angel and cry on her lap and ask her about my condition, but all that could come out of my mouth was a sigh and plight.

I fell on the floor, with my weakness overcoming all my senses and I could feel my eyes getting blur with water filling and rolling downwards unceasingly because of my unbearable pain.

I heard footsteps approaching my dying condition and that devilish angel was standing in front of me.

I need you my love. Help me to come out of my misery. I don’t know what has happened to me. Please come and hug me and kiss me the way you did. Please take me in your arms. Please! My mind was shouting but my mouth was shut.

She was still standing there and watching me cry and roll and die.

“You would be struggling for answers right now”, she came near me and sat with one knee towards me and another towards her chin, “Well my love, you have AIDS”.

What? I knew I didn’t have AIDS. I didn’t. Why was she saying so?

She observed my questioning eyes and replied, and she was not my angel anymore, I could see all the hatred in her eyes now, “I gave you AIDS. If you could talk, you would ask why. Well, I gave you AIDS purposely, because I want to cure it; and I wanted to experiment all my research on someone. I have been doing my research from the last 5 years. Why I chose you? Because I saw lust in your eyes. I knew if I would give what you want, you will become my peasant one day and you won’t be able to go away from me, only because of our physical relationship. I would be able to conquer your body needs and you will become my lab rat”, she stood up and started pacing left to right and right to left fiddling with her yellow cap, “I have used all the chemicals, good, bad and worse, well worse on you, and I still haven’t found anything to cure my disease. I used so many boys, and all ended up worse than me, but still I haven’t found anything yet”, she faced me and continued with her devilish voice, “When I found you, I thought you were the one. You will bring me my cure. I tried the worst chemicals on you after transferring my viruses to you, but you turned out even worse than my other lab rats. Now I don’t have any use of you. You can die on your own will. I am giving you mercy. Just give me a nod and I will free you from all your pain. I will also make up story about your dying in a fire accident,” she again sat beside me waiting for my nod.

I snapped, I started crying with all my energy left. The one person I used to love, the one person for whom I left everybody, she turned out to be my murderer. All I saw in her was her love, I was so blind in my love that I didn’t even see the real her. After all I did for her, she thought it was lust. My love was lust to her? I was weak, both emotionally and physically. I could not speak. I seem like an old withering person in my teens. Beauty destroyed me, as it has been doing since millions of years to man.

I nodded and closed my eyes with tears still flowing on my face towards the floor. The last thing I thought about was the time when that angelic face was lying on my chest, and I was fondling her hair. I was relieved to be killed by the one I sacrificed my life for. I peeked for the last time to her angelic face. I love you. I heard the sound of a gunfire and I was sent to be the part of the new world, and hopefully the better one.

L.C.